Fresh Pepper?

*** abandoned ***

spice of life
Pushing 30.
Practicing law.
Saving for culinary school.

E-mail Me

salt of the earth links
G. Flasher
prarie b.
Sarah B.

Frank Bruni

old spice?



Sometimes they work

I'm a free-born man of the U.S.A.!

Transfer is available to the 1, 7, 9, A, C, E, N, R, Q and W trains.

Friday, July 07, 2006

I'm Sad To Say I Must Be On My Way

I'm taking a hiatus from blogging.

I actually got something published a few weeks ago. It was small, but I was proud of it. It was printed on paper with my real name on it.

Of course, this led me to the delusion that I should start writing for real. I hate bloggers who think they are writers and now I hate myself.

I recently saw footage of Bukowski talking about his ten years of working at the post office. He said it was "pure hell" and he didn't have time to write. He also became an alcoholic. I saw a lot of myself in that footage of Hank. Writing may be the only way I can get away from lawyers. I need to give it a shot for my own sanity.

So I'll leave you with a little story featuring my two favorite things: dessert and cunnilingus.

When I was in law school, I traveled to New Orleans. I had a pecan praline for the first time. A praline is essentially a pile of pecans encased in a melted sugar shell. I decided that when I returned to law school, I was going to learn how to make these.

The recipe was deceptively simple: 1 cup brown sugar, 1 cup sugar, 1/2 cup cream, 2 tbsp butter, 2 cups pecans, and 1/2 tsp vanilla. Add all ingredients to pot, bring to 260 degrees, and ladle out on to foil.

The first time I made pralines, I just turned the heat to high and kept stirring. The bottom of the pan burned before the mixture reached hardball. It was a disaster.

After a few more tries, I realized that making pralines is a lot like cunnilingus. You need medium heat, not high heat. The slower you raise that heat, the better off the final product will be. In the middle of the process, stirring that pot gets hot and sometimes quite uncomfortable, but you need to resist the urge to rush the project. Never go above medium heat. Patience.

So next time you're going down on your lover, remember the lesson of the pralines. And think of me.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

One That Makes Me Fell Like I Feel When I'm With You

I was discussing the changes in my firm with the firm librarian.

He said, "I'll be fine as long as I keep doing the drugs that I'm doing."

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

We Like to Party
My cousin is turning 30 in September and I am turning 30 in October.  Yesterday I discussed the possibility of planning a joint party.
He said, "Yeah, I've been thinking about it a lot.  Do you know how expensive petting zoos are?  They're ridiculous.  Then I asked about just renting the pony but apparently they won't let adults ride it."
I think I'll plan my own party.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Wash All My Sins Away

Yesterday in Tower Records, the clerk asked me for ID when I offered him my credit card.

I said, "Do you really think someone would steal a credit card to buy two Oscar Peterson CDs?"

He replied, "You'd be surprised. Last week some guy came in here with a stolen card and tried to buy a hundred dollars worth of gospel CDs."

Monday, July 03, 2006

To Show You Where I Come From

Fresh:  The desserts here suck, let's go somewhere else for dessert.
Girl:  Where should we go?
Fresh:  Well,  you look like you're in the mood for a protein shake.
Girl:  Oh YES!  We're going to Smoothie King?
Fresh:  Ah... ok.


Sunday, July 02, 2006

I Don't Want You Back
I decided to check my work phone messages and e-mails this morning since I (1) didn't go to work on Friday and (2) forgot to call in sick or tell anyone that I work with that I wasn't coming in.
No phone messages.  No e-mails.  I'm not sure if that's a good sign.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

My Body is a Wonderland
Yesterday I discovered that I live less than an hour from a nude beach. I don't see how I'll ever go to work again.

It was my first time at a nude beach. Here are some tips I picked up:
  • Use lots of sunblock
  • Use spray sunblock. Rubbing lotion on your genitals in front of hundreds of naked people is no fun, and everyone else on the beach had spray sunblock.
  • The hot girls show up after noon. At 8:30 am, you'll be surrounded by old people.
And apparently I'm the only person on earth that trims my pubic hair, but I encourage others to join me.